Sugar is Everywhere

I'd almost forgotten how insidious sugar is. That white menace is in just about everything. If I am to have any success eliminating it from my diet I will have to be forever vigilant. I have to admit this is the part I find the most tedious. Once I know where the sugar is hidden I know what to avoid or substitute but until then shopping and cooking is a time consuming drag. Reading every label on every product in a trolley full of groceries seems to take hours. Must persevere and the knowledge will come and with it a lot less time spent reading labels.

Health Goals

The initial point in losing weight for me was to improve my health. Specifically to avoid the family legacy of type 2 diabetes and delay the progression of my (well established) arthritis. Since commencing this blog my efforts have fluctuated with my motivation. So though I might have thought I was being consistent with eating and exercising I obviously haven't. Pain limits my ability to exercise and leads me to break the habit entirely. Weight stagnation, or God forbid, gain, leads me to over or under eat. What I have lacked is consistency.
Having pretty much stayed the same weight for the last 2 months I decided to log my food to see if I could spot where the problem might be. On a whim I typed my diet diary into Calorie King and discovered I eat between 1100 and 1600 calories a day, averaging about 1500. According to all calculations I should be steadily losing weight. But I'm not. I believe this is because not all calories are created equal. However the fact of not actually gaining weight is good and I would not be devastated to accept this is my permanent weight.
However I would be unhappy if I was to remain at this level of fitness, strength and flexibility. I do not want to continue living in pain. And I am terrified of developing diabetes. So what to do?
Firstly-improve my diet. Logging all my food for a couple of weeks has shown me that sugar has crept back into my diet. When I went sugar free I definitely didn't have the level of pain I have at the moment and we all know sugar's relationship with diabetes. So that's my priority. Eliminate sugar.
Since consistency is key I will make a point of daily blogging so that habit, not motivation becomes my driving force.
I will end this year healthier than I started it, even if my weight stays the same.

Holding Steady

After a small initial weight loss the numbers on the scales have pretty much stalled. I must admit to being a bit dissappointed. I'm about 5kg heavier than my usual plateau weight. However, I am plodding along with the regular exercise (bike riding at the moment, running to resume once my leg improves) and maintaining a low sugar/low alcohol diet. So even if the scales are stagnant I know I'm doing myself some good and that's what the weight loss thing is supposed to be about. I'd like to think I will lose the excess weight I'm carrying around but I'm feeling a bit zen about it all at the moment. I can only do what I can do and my body will either respond or it won't. So long as I'm not gaining any more than the half kilo I'm bouncing on at the moment I'm okay with it for now.

Weighing Every Day

So as per my grumpy pants rant I have been weighing myself every day this year. Every morning I hop on the scales first thing and then record whatever number I see.
I know that weight fluctuates daily with differing fluid levels etc and I thought that by seeing that I would somehow manage to break the obsessive hold the scale numbers have over me. Turns out I was right. Instead of weighing myself once a week or month and seeing little or no change I can see that there is change every day. Some days I can drop almost a kilo overnight, others I gain just as much, a few times I've had runs of three or four days with no change but overall the trend is downwards. Slowly but surely downwards.
Seeing the numbers vary is really helping me understand how my body responds to different foods and I'm starting to see a pattern emerge. Lose a little, stabilize, gain a little, lose a lot, stabilize and repeat. It will be interesting to see if this continues.

Breakfast Smoothie

Ingredients-
Half a mango
100g yoghurt
passionfruit
a bit of milk (depending on how thick you like your drinks)

Method
Throw together and blend until smooth

It's like a tropical holiday in a glass. Could there be a better way to start the day?

Ignoring the "Rules"

As I leave the year heavier than I entered it, it is blatantly obvious that whatever I've been doing hasn't worked. So this coming year I'm doing something different. I am going to ignore all the received dieting wisdom and break every "rule" I'm aware of.

1. I will not count calories.
2. I will not limit fat
3. I will not exercise regularly
4. I will not keep a food diary
5. I will not drink copious amounts of water
6. I will weigh myself daily
7. If the mood strikes me I will attempt a rapid loss (ie crash) diet

 Now let's see what happens.
If I am not at my goal weight by December 31 2013 I will settle for remaining steady at whatever weight I am on that date. One way or another this year is the end of my struggle with weight.

It's Gotta Be More Than Simple Maths

The experts tell us that losing weight is basic maths.
Calories in < calories out = weight loss.
Really? That's the whole of it?
A calorie is a calorie is a calorie.
I call bullshit!
That's not to say this simple formula doesn't work. It does. I've used it dozen's of times and I've lost weight with it dozens of times: for a while. And then...it stops working.
In dieting circles it's called a plateau. Suddenly the maths stops adding up (or in this case down). Every time I've lost weight I get to a certain point where my body stops responding and I start trying to make it fall back into line. I've followed advice such as eat more, eat less, eat different foods, exercise more, exercise less, exercise differently, get more sleep, focus the mind. On and on it goes. But nothing I've ever done has gotten the weight much lower than this "set point".
It's beyond frustrating-it's infuriating. I'm doing all the "right"things month after month and the results aren't forthcoming. There is no reward for all the effort.
If the maths worked I'd have been back at my prepregnancy weight well before my children hit their teens. And my guess is I'm not alone there.
I've been tempted lately to just give up and accept that I'm a fat, unfit, middle aged housewife and let myself slide into menopause and age gracefully if chubbily. But part of me refuses to accept that fate and a larger part of me knows with my caring responsibilities it's not an option anyway.
Losing weight and gaining fitness is a long, hard and, let's be honest, self indulgent, process. I wish I had the unlimited time to focus on nothing but my own needs. But I can't keep at it indefinitely, particularly if there is little progress to be seen. I find it discouraging and the support of those around me wanes as nothing seems to change-which must be due to my lack of effort: after all it's simple maths and I'm an intelligent woman.
There's got to be more to it than basic maths, experience tells me it's not that simple.