Week 21, day 144

Real Age aims:
1. don't get too hungry- not an issue with Lite'n'Easy: there's always something in the fridge, and I even find it a struggle sometimes to get through everything. I suspect this will change when I drop down to the 1,500 calorie program full time (instead of dropping down to it for weeks when I want to keep some calories in reserve for special occasions). And when I'm finally down to the 1,200 calorie program things will be harder still, but by then I'll be at my goal weight, so hopefully I'll have adjusted to a lower intake by then!
2. keep walking, count steps instead of minutes - I'm not quite there, but I've certainly noticed that I'm doing the same distance in less time, and adding distance to make up the time, which I suspect is much the same as the RealAge aim.
3. stock up on 'fire extinguisher' foods - I've got a stash of nuts, which put out the 'fire' of hunger in a healthier way, but am rarely hungry, even though I've dropped Lite'n'Easy to five days a week; on the other days I'm making good choices, and eating regularly.
4. satisfy all your senses - the walking's helping me reconnect with the outside world: I usually read while I walk, and while I'm waiting for and on public transport. THough I'm still reading while we're in transit, I now pace while waiting for the tram or bus, which adds incidental exercise and keeps me in the moment, and I can't maintain a four-k+ pace while reading so instead I focus on the weather, my surrounding, the sounds and smells around me and the sensations under my feet and on my skin. I've also started regularly exfoliating with gloves and yummy-smelling scrub in the shower, and rub cream into my skin before bed reminding myself of my actual dimensions. I think I have visible collar bones!
5. have a day off - like last week's stress management aim, this is advice I really have to take on board. There's never going to be a time when I have fewer things to do - this has to be something I decide to do for myself. Sadly, not this week.

One of the things I'm finding most useful about these weekly aims is that they let me reflect on how I'm going, and I think I'll return to it once I transition into a maintenance program. And that day is going to come, even if it's a long way off. - Alex

Week 20, day 137

Real Age aims:
1. eat the same breakfasts and lunches every day - as I said last week, I already have the same breakfast between six and seven mornings a week. Lunch is a little harder, at least while I'm on Lite'n'Easy, but I'm spending a lot less time thinking about food, which I think has to help - the only thought I really gave it is when I select the meals for the week ahead. And though I might not be doing it yet, at least I know they're balanced, high in fibre, low in fat, varied ingredients and balanced.
2. have a walking buddy - Once we get ourselves organised, Lynn and I will be virtual walking buddies. We live too far away from each other to catch up in person more often than every few months, let alone every day for walking, but we'll do the telephonic encouragement equivalent.
3. perfect your portions - once again, Lite'n'Easy's been very helpful. For now I don't have to worry about portion control, and am learning more about what a portion constitutes, which will serve me well for when I transition off the meals. Entering my intake into CalorieKing is also becoming a habit, and will help me stay honest once I start prepping my own meals.
3. don't text and drive - not an issue for me, as I don't drive.
4. review stress - this is something I need to do a better job of monitoring and managing. I'm pretty good at keeping my stress a secret. even from myself, until everything all starts falling to pieces - I get sick, snappish or both. I know incorporating regular exercise will help with this, and I'm looking forward to seeing the effects of this once I manage to get myself sorted.

Unfortunately, though my intake's under control, I'm still not doing so well making exercise a daily priority. I can't even blame the weather, only myself.
On the plus side, I've discovered a couple of things about how I move - I take more care sitting down and standing up like a not fat person (controlled lowering, using my legs to rise instead of my hands), and I realised I can get on and off a tram the same way, using my legs and moving with confidence. It might not sound like much, but each time I do it I'm reminded of my journey. - Alex

Week 19, day 130

Despite a few hiccups this week, I'm feeling back on track, and as of today have lost a total of 14.2k since October 1st, which is 0.76k per week. One of the hiccups was that work was very short-staffed on Friday, so I ended up working nineteen hours, from 1PM to 8:30AM. That would have been potentially bad enough because of the difficulty squeezing in time to walk, but it also coincided with the departure of several staff, which meant a party - baked berry cheesecake (which I don't even like), two kinds of chocolate chip biscuits, and a tray of very delicious profiteroles replaced much of my regularly scheduled intake, in part to help keep me awake. I've certainly realised how much a role being well rested plays in resisting temptation, too.

I've also had a night out - last night I had dinner with friends, only one of whom knows I'm losing weight. From a menu filled with delicious options I chose a very nice lemon and garlic marinated chicken breast (from which I removed the skin) on a bed of roasted parsnips and carrots, drizzled with pomegranate syrup. It was very delicious and though undoubtedly higher in calories and fat than if I'd prepared it myself, it was delicious. My Weight Watchers-graduating friend told me later that it was the best dish on the menu in terms of weight loss, which was good. I passed on dessert, wine and a hot drink, and we even skipped out usual appetiser of eggplant chips, so all in all a good night out nutritionally.

Today, sadly, was less good - I had lunch with friends, where the grazing menu included home-made sausage roll slices, mini blintzes with sour cream and smoked salmon, and chocolate ripple cake, And tonight I went to Taco Bill with another friend. I'm quite pleased with my order - I went for a salad topped with grilled beef, foregoing not only cheese and sour cream but also the salsa and corn chips served as a free appetiser. However, I did also have a frozen strawberry margarita - it was delicious!
And not only did I walk there (about 25 minutes at a fair pace) but on the way back I alternated walking with a few (very brief) spurts of (very slow) jogging. Perhaps it's time to think about doing the Couch to 5K program, which Lynn did last year... Alex

Real Age aims for the week:
1. detox your cabinets - not really a problem, especially while I'm with Lite'n'Easy
2. keep walking 30 minutes a day - an ongoing work in progress I've done well this week
3. go shopping - see aim 1!
4. better your breakfast - I have breakfast every day, almost always the same thing, which is low in fat, high in fibre and an automatic part of my day, so done :)
5. check your balance - I do a stretch class every week, which incorporates yoga poses and though my balance has a way to go, I'm certainly improving

Week 18, day 123

It’s been three weeks since I last updated my progress, and sadly that’s time that’s mostly stood still. I decided to drop the weigh-ins to monthly, so today has come as a little bit of a shock – although I’ve lost 5½ combined centimetres (bust, waist, hips and arms but nothing from my thighs), which I know is a better indicator, my weight has gone up by 600g. On its own 600g isn’t that significant, except that in a month I’d hope to lose at least 2k.
I modified my Lite’n’Easy program a little, dropping down to 5 days from 7, and occasionally picking the 1500-calorie menu, to allow for meals out. I have, for the most part, followed an 1800-calorie/day diet, which I’m tracking on Calorie King. I’m finding that useful in a couple of ways – I actually know how much I’m eating, and it ensures I don’t have little lapses in memory. I’ve also found that I generally make better choices when I go out, because I have to guess what the composition of everything is if it isn’t in the (extensive) CK database.
I certainly haven’t been a model of restraint, though – earlier this week I decided to have one chocolate royal and before I knew it I’d eaten a whole packet. I don’t even like chocolate royals that much. With no small amount of trepidation I entered the biscuits into CK and discovered I’d eaten 852 calories, including 32.2 grams of fat. So I modified my intake for the rest of the day and still came in just under 1800.
That 1800 count (or, to be precise, 1820, which is Calorie King’s estimate) is based on regular physical activity. Since November I’ve fallen right out of the habit of regular exercise, and so far this year, with sporadic exceptions, I’ve done nothing much more energetic that a brisk ten minute walk. I don’t even know why – it’s been hot, but only the past few days. It’s certainly a lot easier to drop out of the exercise habit than it is to restart it. I’m not sure if it’s the decrease in exercise or because I also stopped taking iron supplements, but I’m also feeling a little breathless on relatively minimal exertion.
So I’ve made a long overdue medical appointment for a general check up. I haven’t had one in five years, and I’ve just discovered it’s been far longer than I thought since my last gynae exam. This is for a couple of reasons – apart from the occasional cold, and migraines a couple of times a year, my health is pretty good and I’ve only gone to a nearby clinic for acute issues and medical certificates. More significantly, my wonderful former GP (Frank Demaio) moved to way the other site of the city, and the idea of finding a new, non-judgmental doctor is confronting.
Unlike many fat women, I haven’t even had an really horrible medical experiences, though my pre-Frank GP was a horrible woman who insisted on weighing me on every visit, regardless of what I saw her for – migraines, for example, are not a weight-related condition. Even though I’m better informed than the average consumer, I don’t want to hear that my health issues, few though they are, would be better if I’d just lose weight, like that’s such an easy thing and like I’d never thought of that before. There’s also the potential to attribute everything to weight, and while I agree that there are certainly causal connections between being fat and some conditions, some doctors have a tendency to attribute to weight any and all ailments a fat person experiences.
I realise, writing this, that I’m already filling with anticipatory anger, and that’s not helpful. So I’ve made an appointment first thing Monday morning – I want a Pap smear, breast exam and a general check up, including blood work, so I’ll fast before I go and have it done at the same time.
My last fasting glucose was 4.3mmol/L, total cholesterol 4.9, HDL 1.79, LDL 2.8, ratio 1.6, and cholesterol/HDLC 2.7. In other words, everything was fine, but that was a long time ago and things change. My normal blood pressure is a respectable 110/70, my resting pulse is 74, and because I’m somewhat hypochondriacal, I check my urine and blood glucose once a month, with no issues so far.
I also re-assessed my Real Age, being honest about my exercise instead of putting in my aspirational exercise, and my body is a year and a month older than my chronological age – 42.7 vs 41.6. The test has been revised in light of new long-term research findings and is apparently more accurate. Real Age have an eight week program designed to drop up to ten years from my age, and it looks achievable, though some of the diet elements are going to be difficult because I’m not planning on dropping Lite’n’Easy any time soon.
Each week has a couple of general directions and a few extras for over achievers – week one is to walk for thirty minutes every day, eat nine handfuls of fruit and vegetables each day, and sign up for tips from the website - I'm already doing the last two, so it's just the walking for now. The additional recommendations are to drink water and tea, use walking to reduce cravings, and to check your vital statistics (particularly waist circumference). I’ve started today, beginning with a walk to the further away supermarket (fifteen minutes each way and that’s my walking done). I’m back on days from this week, and I think that will also help on the exercise front. - Alex